Ian's Gluten Free Chicken Tenders

I was in the middle of my Whole Foods stupor when I saw something big and yellow.  The amazing yellowness drew me out of my stupor long enough for me to see things like "fish fingers" and "chicken tenders" and "french bread pizza" and "gluten free."

Ian's appears to be made to appeal to smaller kids who can't eat those yummy things that their peers would be eating in kids meals.  They have all sorts of healthy and allergen-free foods that appeal to kids, like mac and cheese, chicken nuggets, and corn dog bites. 

Of course, we adults also enjoy those things ...

At Whole Foods I paid about $8 for a (small, small, small) package of chicken tenders.  When I opened the package I found three relatively thick tenders (still small) and two skinnier ones that were mating.  Unfortunately, they had not given birth, otherwise I might have gotten a serving of tenders worthy of eating half the package. 

See, five tenders is a serving as far as I'm concerned.  If it were six, I might be able to split it 3/3.  Three is almost a reasonable serving, and then I could eat some kind of side dish.  =meal.  But five ... see, two would be a very pathetic serving.  So I just baked all five.  $8 lunch at home.

Okay, so hopefully they would taste good.

After some struggling with the oven, I managed to bake my tenders and get them into my room.  I took out some salad dressing for dipping (honey dijon) and set out to test my tenders.

I have to say that they are pretty good.  My attempts at cooking tenders in the past had resulted in the breading just falling right off.  So I was glad when the breading stayed on these.  The chicken was cooked all the way through despite my oven issues, and the breading was crispy except where oil had kind of seeped out of it, as happens when you bake things. 

The only real issue I had was that they were decidedly unsalted.  I'm one of those people who has blood pressure not affected by salt (in fact, my bp is lowwww), so I don't mind a heavy dose of salt.  These are very, very unsalted.  The salad dressing helped balance that out, so it wasn't so bad.  Just, a little bit of seasoning of some sort might have been nice. 

All in all, after over a year of missing out on chicken nuggets and tenders and patties, I was very pleased.  I would definitely buy these again if I won the lottery and try the other varieties of foods available.

Oatios

One thing I really miss is Cheerio's.  Plain, ordinary Cheerio's.  I'm not a huge fan of sugary cereal, and I wish that Cheerio's didn't contain that pesky wheat starch.  I'd bought a giant box of the stuff before having to go GF and ate one bowl of it just to see what happened.  The result was not good.

Oatios are not GF per se.  They contain no wheat, and if you can tolerate oats they are supposedly fine for you to eat.  The jury is still out on oats, and these are just oats. 

I thought that since they looked like Cheerio's and were oats ... well ... they would be like Cheerio's.  Right? 

I opened the box to see what they were like dry.  They were puffy, very porous, and very light to crunch.  Not like Cheerio's.  More like a hybrid cheerio-fruit loop.  Also, very bitter.  I thought maybe milk would change this, so I poured some into a bowl and put some milk on it.

Basically, it was a bowl of bitter, soggy oat rounds that I had to force myself to finish and which my stomach went, "WHAT ... IS ... THIS???" to.  I saw another brand of wheat-free oat circles, and I'm kind of clinging to a hope that those will be any good.  This box, which I just bought today, will be going into the trash.  Blecch.

Drinky-pie

No, I'm not talking about pie.

Let's take a break here and talk for a second about drinks. 

I just came from Japan, where tea and coffee are king.  You can go to any vending machine and get a variety of teas or coffees in bottles and cans, with a few soft drinks or other beverages like sports drinks and soda alongside.  It's something I miss in America, because not only are there so few vending machines and convenience stores compared to Tokyo, but also because the variety of beverages ... well ... sucks.

Coming back to the US I'm figuring out why people get fat.  If you're ingesting a third of your RDA of calories in beverages ... yeah, that's bad.  And even if it's 0 calories with fakeyfake sugar, it's still not good for you.  Possibly worse. 

What is wrong with unsweetened beverages??  The only one I can seem to find is water.  Every variety of tea here, with the exception of the few overpriced bottles of Ito-en green or jasmine (sometimes oolong) you can find here and there, is full of crap.  I only like sweet tea if it's milky.  I can't stand sugar or flavoring in tea.  To me, it tastes like some kind of bathroom cleaner or air freshener or candle or something. 

I'm going a bit nuts.  I boil my own tea, but now finding that the water's full of hexavalent chromium has me concerned.  Also, hot tea in Hawaii = not so great in the middle of the day.  So I'm drinking big bottles of water.  I occasionally drink something else--Nesquik (I do enjoy Nesquik) or a bit of gatorade or some kind of organic fruit beverage--but as a small female person nearing 30, I can't afford to give up so many calories per day to drinks. 

I really wish that more people in the US would become tea drinkers.  Not sweet-sugar-crappy tea drinkers, but straight tea drinkers.  I want more tea!  Cheaper tea!  Until then I guess I'll just be lugging as many 1.5L bottles of water home as possible.  Hopefully that stuff isn't full of chromium ...

Oskri Coconut Bar

I love coconut.

Not sugary sweet coconut like in Mounds (that's all right), but fresh coconut.  I cut the crap out of myself some months ago because I wanted a darn coconut and spent hours hacking and whacking one open in my apartment.  It was $10 but it was a delicious thing.

I'd tried to find coconuts since arriving in Hawaii.  I thought Hawaii = coconut.  Now I can't find a damn coconut.

I was at Long's looking at the Lara Bars and then at the other bars around them.  That's when I saw these coconut bars.

Coconut?  Coconut??  DID SOMEONE SAY "COCONUT???"

It was $1.20 and the ingredients were listed as coconut and rice syrup.  Is that all?  Sounds good to me.  I was starving and couldn't help but start eating it when I was on the way home.

It wasn't like a Mounds.  It was much less sweet.  It tasted a lot more like a natural piece of coconut than I was expecting.  I would definitely prefer real, fresh coconut, but this is a good alternative.  Gluten-free, lactose-free, kosher, halal, vegan ... good for everyone, assuming you like coconut.

Or aren't allergic to coconut. 

Glutenfreeda Banana Maple Oatmeal

I used to like eating oatmeal because it would leave me with a heavy feeling in my stomach.  I didn't particularly love the taste of oatmeal, but I liked that I could eat something so small and be left feeling full.


I did try to eat Quaker's instant oatmeal since going GF, but it just was not agreeing with me.  I realize oats are not glutenful per se, but mostly suffer from contamination.  The reaction I got from it was not the usual reaction, but it just was not pleasant.  So I don't think it was contamination, but honestly, I don't know what it was. 

So that's where I was before picking up Glutenfreeda's oatmeal.  I was aware of it.  I was aware of other brands, but let me be honest here:  I want to sit down and pour a single serving bowl of hot cereal.  I do NOT want to boil a whole pot of it or measure it out or find my own toppings.  I want convenience and speed.  But there just seemed to be nothing available that met those needs.  Except this.

I am not crazy about bananas.  I'll eat them, but something in the texture bothers me (which is probably why I prefer greener bananas).  I wouldn't have bought this flavor, but it was the ONLY ONE THEY HAD.  And I haven't seen this stuff anywhere else I've been.  So this very well may be the ONLY FLAVOR IN HAWAII.  I have no idea.  I can't check everywhere else, so as far as I'm concerned IT IS THE ONLY FLAVOR IN HAWAII.

I bought it and I gave it a shot, hoping it wouldn't bother my guts.  And it didn't!  It was good.  The dehydrated banana came out pretty good and you couldn't really make out the maple except for a light sweetness.  My only real problem with the oatmeal is that it's not shoved full of vitamins.  I prefer to eat foods that are shoved full of vitamins.  Most gf foods seem to be lacking that. 

It was kind of amazing after years of a heavy feeling to not have that after eating oatmeal.  I've lately determined that the heavy feeling I got eating stuff like oatmeal or pasta (I could never eat much pasta without feeling suddenly full) must have been an inflammatory response.  So I would swear that these oats are cleeeean.

I paid about $6 for a box of 6 packets.  A dollar per packet?  Kind of stupid, but it's not as if I have a choice (THE ONLY GF OATMEAL IN THE MY UNIVERSE).  I would hope to try some of the other flavors someday.  Ha.  IF THEY EXIST. 

(Seriously, if you live in Honolulu and you know where to get any other flavor ... I will figure out how to get a bus there.  I don't want to be stuck eating just banana.)

Tasty Bite

I've had a few of these Tasty Bite Indian dinners, so I just want to make a general review.

These are listed as gluten-free and some are also listed as vegan.  Obviously, anything with the paneer cheese in it is not going to be vegan.

You can cook them in the microwave (not recommended) or by submerging the foil pouch in boiling water for five minutes.  They do not require any refrigeration before cooking, which is awesome.

I haven't had a whole lot of authentic Indian food.  I lived in Japan, where bastardized Indian food is king, and where even in Indian restaurants run by Indians (or people from that general area) you aren't sure if what you're getting is authentic or catered to the weakling tongues of the general population.

I ate at an Indian restaurant once, it was pretty good, but it did not agree with me in the slightest.  I don't think it was a glutening, but it just did not ... agree.

These, however, are great.  They aren't too spicy (sorry if that's your thing) and cook up quick.  They're relatively healthy, and surely all that beans or spinach is good for you.  And no gluten.  Amazing.

I've seen them retail from between $2.50-4.50 depending on the store.  Which is probably way less than you'd pay in the restaurant.  Some people mention them tasting nasty microwaved, so I recommend boiling.  There are quite a few varieties to choose from, so why not try them all?  So far I've had about four different kinds.  I'm still partial to the palak paneer.  Yum.  And since I have a boiling water pot in my pod (no kitchen in here) it's something I can cook without going into the main house!  Joy!

(No, no one paid me to say this.)

Mi-Del Gluten Free Ginger Snaps

I had this really amazing ginger-molasses cookie the other day, and because it's Christmas and Christmas is gingerbread season, I felt myself hankering for more of that gingery goodness.  Unfortunately that other cookie, while amazing, was also $2.79!  For a single cookie!  A cookie that claimed to be two servings!  Too much horror for one beautiful cookie!

So I looked to alternatives.  I knew this would mean giving up soft, chewy deliciousness for crispiness.  I didn't care.  So much.  Kind of.  A little.  (30%)

The stores I went to had several brands of cookies.  They had those dateful Enjoy Life cookies.  They had various cookies bearing lady-names (Pam's?  Lucy's?  Something like that.)  But then there was Mi-Del.

I'd had a pretty good experience with Mi-Del and their faux-reos.  Also, some other cookie.  So I thought they could be trusted, at least a bit.  Additionally, the ginger snaps were what I could find (the only gf cookie) in a mainstream supermarket where I was already buying groceries.  I make special trips to the natural foods stores, but sometimes don't buy anything.  (I get points or something for buying at the normal supermarket.)

Here's the good news:  It's all good news.

Although they are crunchy cookies, they aren't overwhelmingly so.  Five cookies clocks in at 140 calories, and they contain some minute bit of nutrition (I refuse to eat food that does not contain nutrition).  They are flavorful, gingery, and delicious.  They would probably make a fantastic pie crust or addition to pudding.

I think I paid around $4.50.  I'm beginning to notice that at the supermarket, any time there's a regular product next to the gf version, the gf version is like, 2-3 dollars more.  Hurrah.  Like they're blaming us for having irritable intestines that have a kind of stigmata reaction when they see wheat.  "Well, we know your body is broken and you're probably on a lot of pills, so as a consolation prize we're going to charge you more for food.  COOKIE TAX.  PAY UP, BROKE-TINES!"